Inna Hudaya was born pushing herself in everything she does in life – always looking for the next challenge and life-changing experience. A feminist, social-entrepreneur, human rights advocate, and traveler. Inna is an avid traveler and adventurer; a quirkyalone, love walking around anonymously and wondering herself as James Bond during her travels. However, she marks activism as her most epic adventure yet.
Though Inna is known as a strong and independent woman. Not many would believe that for most of her life, she is actually dealing with fragile self-esteem. Since she was a child, she struggles with invalidation and conditional love.
Inna suffers from chronic depression for most of her life, with two major depressive episodes in 2004 after her abortion, and in 2020 after a narcissistic abusive relationship.
Since she was a child, she realized that she didn’t fit in the family. To be accepted and loved means she needs to be the person her family and society expected to be. She knew that’s not the life she wanted.
Inna Hudaya walked out of her hometown with one thought in her mind: How can I never go back? How can I make a difference? In 2000, a few days after her final exam, she jumped on a bus for Yogyakarta.
Inna’s work began in 2007 when she was 26, four years after her abortion. In a traditional and religious setting, sharing and being open is not her option. She knew that instead of getting the support she needed, she will face stigma and discrimination from her family and environment. So she decided to have an abortion. She had post-psychosomatic trauma after the abortion, which forced her to give up her study and focus on recovering by seeing psychiatry and having the treatment that made her broke and had a debt.
Sometime in 2007, she read an article that there are 2 million abortions a year in Indonesia. She was wondering what if 50% of them had a trauma just like she had before, the feeling to give up and die. Those women did not have a place to share the feeling. She started to write her story on her blog. She talked about her process of recovery and disseminate information on safe abortion. She got lots of reactions from women who experience the same thing. Fueled only by social media, propelled the creation of Samsara, a feminist organization focus on women’s bodily autonomy and integrity.
Several times involved in a toxic relationship since she was young, and often respond in a toxic behavior as well, it doesn’t make Inna realize that this is a pattern that was formed from her childhood. It was only in 2019 after following regular therapy that Inna realized that she was a product of a narcissistic mother. In early 2020, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Inna experienced severe depression after discarded by her partner, Inna needed intensive help from a psychiatric hospital, following clinical therapy and coaching sessions to overcome depression and suicidal thoughts. Only to find out later that the depression she had been experiencing had turned out to be part of the narcissistic abuse she experienced from her ex-partner.
Similar to what she did after her depressive episode following her abortion. In August 2020, she started Bye Narc Academy as a platform to increase awareness of narcissistic abuse, including to offer support and coaching for people dealing with narcissistic abuse.